i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
