He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
