It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
