A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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