You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
