So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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