me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
