the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize