new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Never joke about your clitoris.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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