you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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