i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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