You're completely useless in the revolution.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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