video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
