just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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