The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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