chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize