So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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