chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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