i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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