We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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