Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
