Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize