is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
