You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
