Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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