My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
