Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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