My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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