I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Come share oat with me in your robe
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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