I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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