nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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