i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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