omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
