So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
