Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
50% drunk capacity currently
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
