weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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