How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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