am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
