I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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