he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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