their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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