I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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