i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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