i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this will be a night to untag.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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