My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
