she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
