Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
