Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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