I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
