Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
