she was so not down for the gang bang
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Will exercising make me less horny?
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