True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
