I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
