Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
