I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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