you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
