I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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