Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
