He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
