He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This is not my ceiling
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
