I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
