i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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