I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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