I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
